|
How do you keep a dumb blond bussy for hours?
Scroll down
Scroll up
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined
$100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow
him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND...
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
1. OTHER WOMEN
A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight
and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and
screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
| A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire |
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The
next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will
drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds
does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember
Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue.
I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara:
"I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis:
"Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000,
but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There
are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie,
which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie:
"Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara:
" Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara:
"I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis:
"Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you
said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great
contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara
calls round to Maggie and asks her to come over to celabrate, at they're drinking pop, Barbara turns to Maggie
and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie:
"Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock." |
If you have any Clean jokes that you would like to donate please email me.
|